And here we go again
Back to this place, this phase, this zone
When it’s all stirring in, no control
Boiling up, freezing down, it’s a mess
A beautiful one, a chaotic one
It eats me up, takes me to places
That transcends
Where rage ascends
I pull my hair out, punch my face
Doesn’t work
So, I smile, I laugh, I dance
Until it feels good, it feels alright
Until I start to tremble, shake and twitch
Still, I stay with it
I stay with the lightning
With the winds of this cold, January night
The dull, dark skies
Forgotten, cursed, and hated
They speak to something inside of me,
Something inside of me speaks to them
I was always a medium,
Never understood, always reacting
With trembles, shakes, and twitches
Laughing, crying, stunned in silence
I could never understand them
I still can’t
So, here I sit after midnight in this blistering cold
With nothing else to do
And it almost feels alright, for now
Until the sun comes out, again.
The kind of writing that shows up uninvited, barefoot, at 3 a.m.
