“To Feel Alright, Almost”
And here we go again
Back to this place, this phase, this zone
When it’s all stirring within, no control
Boiling up, freezing down, it’s a mess
A beautiful one, a chaotic one
It eats me up, takes me to places
That transcend
Where rage ascends
I pull my hair out, punch my face
Doesn’t work
So I smile, I laugh, I dance
Until it feels good, it feels alright
Until I start to tremble, shake, and twitch
Still, I stay with it
I stay with the lightning
With the wind of this cold January night
The dull, dark skies
Forgotten, cursed, and hated
They speak to something inside of me
Something inside of me speaks to them
I was always a medium
Never understood, always reacting
With trembles, shakes, and twitches
Laughing, crying, stunned in silence
I could never understand them
I still can’t
So here I sit after midnight
In this blistering cold
With nothing else to do
And it almost feels alright, for now
Until the sun comes out again.
The kind of writing that shows up uninvited, barefoot, at 3 a.m.
